Hexes for the Modern Age by Val Brains

Let's face it: most people irritate us. Hexes for the Modern Age is a tongue-in-cheek approach to giving these folks a taste of their own medicine. While inspired by witches' curses of the past, this is a gift book of 120 funny spells specific to the smartphone-obsessed, overworked, hipster-drenched reality of the present day. Organized by category—love, work, roommates, traffic, pets, weddings, and so on—each hex is accompanied by an irreverent, Demetri Martin–type line drawing. Spells include:

“May you start turning into your parents way earlier than you expected.”

“May all the cords to your electronics become entangled in a massive death coil.”

“May a full-size parking space that appears to be open actually be taken up by a tiny Vespa scooter.”

“May you always have 3 percent phone battery when you have no idea where you're going and it's in the middle of nowhere and there's no one else around